今天分享的这本书是大名鼎鼎的互联网思想家凯文·凯利的新作。凯文·凯利是知名的科技媒体《连线》杂志创始主编。他还是《纽约时报》《经济学人》《时代》《科学》等杂志的撰稿人。他被中国读者亲切地称为K.K.。著有《失控》《必然》《科技想要什么》《5000天后的世界》等等口碑畅销书，书中对于未来社会和未来科技的发展都表达了许多独到的见解和思考。凯文·凯利被看作是“赛博文化”的发言人和观察者，也有人称其为“科技预言家”。
这本2023年9月出版的《宝贵的人生建议》，算是凯文·凯利关于个人成长的一些思考随笔记录。书中的建议基本上都是以格言的方式在呈现。而每一条格言的排序也只是随着先后记录的顺序，格言之间没有关联和排序，所以你可以随时打开书，任意读几页，甚至你还可以跳跃着读其中几条。格言的涉及面很广，有关于学习方法的，比如“学习的最好⽅法是，试着把你会的东⻄教给别⼈”；也有关于生活常识的，比如“汽车仪表盘上的箭头的方向就是汽车油箱的方向”；甚至还有调侃的，比如“⼯作做得好的回报，是更多的⼯作”。是不是跟你想像中的K.K不太一样啊。
在68岁生日的时候，凯文·凯利有了一个想法，要为自己刚刚成年的子女写一些人生建议。后来这成了凯文·凯利的一个惯例，就是在每年生日的那天，凯文·凯利都会把记录下来一些自己的建议，拿出来与家⼈和朋友分享，他希望每个人在年轻的时候就应该知道这些建议。他曾在给自己孩子写的书《宝贵的人生建议》中写道：
做一个乐观妄想症患者吧，相信整个宇宙都在你背后合谋，助你成功。
凯文·凯利曾经在他73岁时，献上了他的101条人生建议，分享给大家。
- The best way to criticize something is to make something better.批评一个东西的最佳方式是改善它。
- Admitting that “I don’t know” at least once a day will make you a better person.每天至少承认一次“我不知道”，这会让你成为一个更好的人。
- Forget trying to decide what your life’s destiny is. That’s too grand. Instead, just figure out what you should do in the next 2 years.别再试图决定自己一生的命运，那太宏大了。与其这样，不如考虑自己接下来两年该做什么。
- Aim to be effective, but unpredictable. That is, you want to act in a way that AIs have trouble modeling or imitating. That makes you irreplaceable.要做高效但难以预料的事，以一种人工智能难以模拟或模仿的方式行事，这样你才是不可替代的。
- Whenever you hug someone, be the last to let go.每次拥抱他人时，做最后一个放手的人。
- Don’t save up the good stuff (fancy wine, or china) for that rare occasion that will never happen; instead use them whenever you can.别把好东西（美酒或瓷器）留着等那些遥遥无期的特殊场合，而是尽可能地使用它们。
- The best gardening advice: find what you can grow well and grow lots and lots of it.最好的园艺建议：找到你擅长种植的植物，然后大量种植。
- Never hesitate to invest in yourself—to pay for a class, a course, a new skill. These modest expenditures pay outsized dividends.永远不要犹豫投资自己——花钱上课、学习新技能。这些小额投资能带来巨大回报。
- Try to define yourself by what you love and embrace, rather than what you hate and refuse.尝试用你所热爱的事物定义自己，而不是用你所厌恶和拒绝的事物。
- Read a lot of history so you can understand how weird the past was; that way you will be comfortable with how weird the future will be.多读历史，了解过去有多么荒唐，这样你就能坦然接受荒唐的未来了。
- To make a room luxurious, remove things, rather than add things.想让房间显得高级，减少物品，而不是增加。
- Interview your parents while they are still alive. Keep asking questions while you record. You’ll learn amazing things. Or hire someone to make their story into an oral history, or documentary, or book. This will be a tremendous gift to them and to your family.在父母还在世时采访他们，不断提问并记录，你会学到很多令人惊奇的事。或者雇人将他们的故事做成口述历史、纪录片或书籍。这将是给他们和你的家庭的一份珍贵礼物。
- If you think someone is normal, you don’t know them very well. Normalcy is a fiction. Your job is to discover their weird genius.如果你觉得某人很普通，那说明你对他们了解不够深入。普通只是一场幻觉，你要发现他们独有的天赋。
- When shopping for anything physical, ask yourself: where will this go? Don’t buy it unless there is a place it can live. Something may need to leave in order for something else to come in.购买任何实物时，先问问自己：这东西要放在哪里？如果没有合适的地方安置，就不要买。也许得腾出一些空间，才能迎接新物品。
- You owe everyone a second chance, but not a third.你可以给任何人第二次机会，但不要有第三次。
- When someone texts you they are running late, double the time they give you.If they say they’ll be there in 5, make that 10; if 10, it’ll be 20; if 20, count on 40.如果有人发短信说他们会迟到，把他们预估的时间加倍。如果他们说5分钟后到，就当成10分钟；如果是10分钟，那就当成20分钟；如果是20分钟，那就算40分钟。
- Multitasking is a myth. Don’t text while walking, running, biking or driving. Nobody will miss you if you just stop for a minute.多任务处理是个神话。不要在走路、跑步、骑车或开车时发短信。停下来一分钟处理一下，不会有人因此多想你一会儿的。
- You can become the world’s best in something primarily by caring more about it than anyone else.如果你能比世界上任何一个人更投入某件事情，你就能成为这件事情做得最好的人。
- Asking “what-if?” about your past is a waste of time; asking “what-if?” about your future is productive.对自己问一句“假如...会怎么样”来回顾过去是在浪费时间，而对自己问一句“假如...会怎么样”来展望未来则是富有成效的。
- Try to make the kind of art and things that will inspire others to make art and things.尝试创作出能鼓舞他人进行创作的艺术和作品。
- Once a month take a different route home, enter your house by a different door, and sit in a different chair at dinner. No ruts.每个月至少换一条回家的路，换个门进入你的家，坐在不同的餐桌椅上。别让生活一成不变。
- Where you live—what city, what country—has more impact on your well being than any other factor. Where you live is one of the few things in your life you can choose and change.你住在哪里——哪个城市、哪个国家——对你的幸福感影响比任何其他因素都大。住在哪里是你人生中极少数能选择并改变的事情之一。
- Every now and then throw a memorable party. The price will be steep, but long afterwards you will remember the party, whereas you won’t remember how much is in your checking account.偶尔举办一个难忘的聚会。代价可能不小，但很久以后你会记得那场聚会，而你不会记得银行卡里有多少钱。
- Most arguments are not really about the argument, so most arguments can’t be won by arguing.大多数争论其实并不关心争论本身，因此你法通过争论来赢得争论。
- The surest way to be successful is to invent your own definition of success. Shoot your arrows first and then paint a bull’s eye around where they land. You’re the winner!成功的最可靠方式是创造自己对成功的定义。先射箭，再画靶。这样你绝对是赢家！
- When remodeling a home interior use big pieces of cardboard to mock-up your alterations at life size. Seeing things, such as counters, at actual size will change your plans, and it is so much easier to make modifications with duct tape and scissors.在重新装修家居时，用大块纸板按实际尺寸制作模型。看到像柜台这样的物品以实际尺寸呈现很可能会改变你的计划，而且用胶带和剪刀进行修改会很轻松。
- There should be at least one thing in your life you enjoy despite being no good at it. This is your play time, which will keep you young. Never apologize for it.生活中至少应该有一样你喜欢做的事，即使你做得不好。这是你的娱乐时间，它将让你永远保持年轻，同时也永远不要为花时间玩感到愧疚。
- Changing your mind about important things is not a consequence of stupidity, but a sign of intelligence.在重要事情上改变主意不是愚蠢的表现，而是智慧的标志。
- You have 5 minutes to act on a new idea before it disappears from your mind.你有五分钟时间去实施一个新想法，不然它就会从你的脑海中消失。
- What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important. To get the important stuff done, avoid the demands of the urgent.重要的事情往往不紧急，而紧急的事情通常不重要。在重要事情变紧急之前完成它。
- Three situations where you’ll never regret ordering too much: when you are pouring concrete, when you are choosing a battery, and when you are getting ice for a party.有三种情况你永远不会后悔买了太多：倒水泥时、选电池时和为派对准备冰块时。
- The patience you need for big things, is developed by your patience with the little things.做大事所需的耐心，正是通过对小事的耐心培养出来的。
- Don’t fear failure. Fear average.不要害怕失败，要害怕平庸。
- When you are stuck or overwhelmed, focus on the smallest possible thing that moves your project forward.当你感到困顿或不知所措时，集中精力处理能推动项目前进的最小的可行事情。
- In a museum you need to spend at least 10 minutes with an artwork to truly see it. Aim to view 5 pieces at 10 minutes each rather than 100 at 30 seconds each.在博物馆，你需要与一件艺术品相处至少10分钟，才能真正理解它。所以，至少每件作品看10分钟，而不是每件作品只看30秒。
- For steady satisfaction, work on improving your worst days, rather than your best days.想要持续的满足感，就要努力改善你最糟糕的日子，而不是关注最好的日子。
- Your decisions will become wiser when you consider these three words: “…and then what?” for each choice.做每个决定考虑这三个字：“……然后呢？”时，你的决定会变得更加明智。
- If possible, every room should be constructed to provide light from two sides. Rooms with light from only one side are used less often, so when you have a choice, go with light from two sides.如果可能，每个房间应该设计为从两个方向都有光照。只从一侧有光的房间使用频率较低，因此如果有选择，尽量选择从两个方向都能进光的房间。
- Never accept a work meeting until you’ve seen the agenda and know what decisions need to be made. If no decisions need to be made, skip the meeting.在接受工作会议邀请之前，务必查看议程并了解需要做出的决定。如果不需要做决定，那就跳过这场会议。
- You have no obligation to like everyone, and you are free to intensely dislike a person. But you owe everyone—even those you dislike—basic respect.你没有义务喜欢每个人，你可以强烈不喜欢某些人，但你依然要给予每个人——包括你不喜欢的人——基本的尊重。
- When you find yourself procrastinating, don’t resist. Instead lean into it. Procrastinate 100%. Try to do absolutely nothing for 5 minutes. Make it your job. You’ll fail. After 5 minutes, you’ll be ready and eager to work.当你发现自己在拖延时，不要抗拒。相反，迎接它。彻底拖延100%。试着完全什么都不做5分钟，把它当作任务来完成。这样你会失败。5分钟后，你就会准备好并迫不及待地开始工作。
- If you want to know how good a surgeon is, don’t ask other doctors. Ask the nurses.如果你想知道一个外科医生的水平，不要问其他医生，问护士。
- There is a profound difference between thinking less of yourself (not useful), and thinking of yourself less (better).低估自己（没用）和少关注自己（更好）之间有很大的区别。
- Strong opinions, clearly stated, but loosely held is the recipe for an intellectual life. Always ask yourself: what would change my mind?坚定的观点，清楚地表达，但保持宽松的立场，是知识性生活的秘诀。时刻问自己：什么会改变我的想法？
- You can not truly become yourself, by yourself. Becoming one-of-a-kind is not a solo job. Paradoxically you need everyone else in the world to help make you unique.你无法独自成为真实的自己。成为独一无二的人并不能够独立完成。这里的悖论是，你需要世界上其他人的帮助，才能成就自己的独特。
- If you need emergency help from a bystander, command them what to do. By giving them an assignment, you transform them from bewildered bystander to a responsible assistant.如果你需要旁人的紧急帮助，请直接给他们下指令。通过给他们具体的任务，才能让他们从迷茫的旁观者转变为负责任的助手。
- The most common mistake we make is to do a great job on an unimportant task.我们最常犯的错误是，在不重要的事情上做得很好。
- Don’t work for a company you would not invest money in, because when you are working you are investing the most valuable thing you have: your time.不要为你不愿意投资的公司工作，因为在工作时，你正在投入你最宝贵的东西——时间。
- Fail fast. Fail often. Fail forward. Failing is not a disgrace if you keep failing better.快速失败。经常失败。面向未来失败。如果你不断失败并从中改进，失败并不丢脸。
- Doing good is its own reward. When you do good, people will question your motive, and any good you accomplish will soon be forgotten. Do good anyway.但行好事，莫问前程。
- Best sleep aid: first, get really tired.最好的助眠方法：首先，要把自己累到疲倦。
- For every success there is a corresponding non-monetary tax of some kind. To maintain success you have to gladly pay these taxes.每一项成功都有相应的某种非金钱形式的代价。要维持成功，你就得乐于支付这些代价。
- Do not cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.不要因为花了很多时间犯了一个错误，就执着于它。
- For small tasks the best way to get ready is to do it immediately.对于小事，最好的准备方式就是立刻去做。
- If someone is calling you to alert you to fraud, nine out of ten times they are themselves the fraudster.如果有人打电话警告你有欺诈行为，十有八九他们自己就是骗子。
- When you try to accomplish something difficult, surround yourself with friends.当你尝试完成某个艰难的目标时，可以让你的朋友帮你。
- You should be willing to look foolish at first, in order to look like a genius later.要让自己愿意在开始时显得愚蠢，这样才能在后面看起来像个天才。
- Think in terms of decades, and act in terms of days.以十年为单位思考，以每天为单位行动。
- The most selfish thing in the world you can do is to be generous. Your generosity will return you ten fold.世界上最自私的事情就是慷慨。你的慷慨会给你带来十倍的回报。
- Discover people whom you love doing “nothing” with, and do nothing with them on a regular basis.找到那些你喜欢和他们一起“什么都不做”的人，定期和他们一起做“什么都不做”的事情。
- Forget diamonds; explore the worlds hidden in pebbles. Seek the things that everyone else ignores.忘掉钻石；去探索藏在小石子里的世界。寻找那些被其他人忽视的事物。
- Write your own obituary, the one you’d like to have, and then everyday work towards making it true.写下你自己的讣告，写下你希望别人怎么记住你，然后每天为实现它而努力。
- Avoid making any kind of important decision when you are either hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT).当你饿了、生气、孤独或疲惫时，不要做任何重要决策。
- What others want from you is mostly to be seen. Let others know you see them.别人最希望从你这里得到的，往往是被看到。让别人知道你看到了他们。
- Working differently is usually more productive than working harder.当你工作很辛苦时候，尝试换种方式工作，这样通常更有效率。
- When you try something new, don’t think of it as a matter of success / failure, but as success / learning to succeed.尝试新事物时，不要把它看作成功/失败的实践，而是作为成功/学习如何成功的实践。
- If you have a good “why” to live for, no “how” will stop you.如果你有一个值得为之而活的“为什么”，没有什么“怎么做”能阻挡你。
- If you are out of ideas, go for a walk. A good walk empties the mind—and then refills it with new stuff.如果你没有新点子，去散步吧。一场好的散步能清空大脑——然后新的想法会重新填满它。
- The highest form of wealth is deciding you have enough.财富的最高形式，是知足。
- Education is overly expensive. Gladly pay for it anyway, because ignorance is even more expensive.教育昂贵，但依然值得为其花钱，因为无知的代价更高。
- The cheapest therapy is to spend time with people who make you laugh.最便宜的心理治疗就是与那些让你笑的人在一起。
- Always be radically honest, but use your honesty as a gift not as a weapon. Your honesty should benefit others.始终保持彻底的诚实，但把诚实当作礼物，而非武器。你的诚实应该让你收益。
- A good sign that you are doing the kind of work you should be doing is that you enjoy the tedious parts that other people find tortuous.当你能享受那些别人觉得枯燥乏味的部分，表明你正在从事适合你的工作。
- Being envious is a toxin. Instead take joy in the success of others and treat their success as your gain. Celebrating the success of others costs you nothing, and increases the happiness of everyone, including you.嫉妒是毒药。与其嫉妒他人，不如为他们的成功感到喜悦，把他们的成功当作自己的收获。庆祝他人的成功不花你任何代价，反而能增加每个人的幸福，包括你自己。
- The more persistent you are, the more chances you get to be lucky.越坚持，越幸运。
- To tell a good story, you must reveal a surprise; otherwise it is just a report.要讲一个好故事，你必须给人惊喜；否则它只是一个报告。
- Small steps matter more when you play a long game because a long horizon allows you to compound small advances into quite large achievements.在长期游戏中，每一小步更为重要，因为长远来看，微小的进步能积累成巨大的成就。
- If you are more fortunate than others, build a longer table rather than a taller fence.如果你比别人更幸运，那就请建一张更长的桌子，而不是更高的围墙。
- Many fail to finish, but many more fail to start. The hardest work in any work is to start. You can’t finish until you start, so get good at starting.许多人没有完成，但更多的人没有开始。任何工作中最难的部分是开始。只有开始了，才有可能完成，所以要学会善于开始。
- Work on your tone. Often ideas are rejected because of the tone of voice they are wrapped in. Humility covers many blemishes.注意你的语气。很多时候，想法被拒绝是因为它们的语气有问题。谦逊能掩盖很多瑕疵。
- When you are right, you are learning nothing.当你是对的时候，你没有学到任何东西。
- Very small things accumulate until they define your larger life. Carefully choose your everyday things.所有的小事积累了起来，最终定义了你的人生。请谨慎选择你的日常小事。
- It is impossible to be curious and furious at the same time, so avoid furious.你不可能在同一时间既好奇又愤怒，所以要避免愤怒。
- College is not about grades. No one cares what grades you got in college. College is about exploring. Just try stuff.大学不是关于成绩的。没人关心你在大学里得了多少分。大学是关于探索的。尽管去探索吧。
- Weird but true: If you continually give, you will continually have.奇怪但真实：如果你不断付出，那么你会不断拥有。
- To clean up your city, sweep your doorstep first.如果要清洁你的城市，首先清扫你家门口。
- Decisions like to present themselves as irreversible, like a one-way door. But most deciding points are two-way. Don’t get bogged down by decisions. You can usually back up if needed.决策往往会表现得像是不可逆的，像一扇单行门。但其实大多数决策是双向的。不要被决策困住，通常如果有必要的话你可以撤回。
- Every mistake is an opportunity to improvise.每一个错误都是一个将错就错的机会。
- You’ll never meet a very successful pessimistic person. If you want to be remarkable, get better at being optimistic.你永远不会遇到非常成功的悲观主义者。如果你想获得非凡的成就，学会更乐观。
- You can’t call it charity unless no one is watching.除非没有人看见，否则你不能称之为慈善。
- When you think of someone easy to despise—a tyrant, a murderer, a torturer—don’t wish them harm. Wish that they welcome orphans into their home, and share their food with the hungry. Wish them goodness, and by this compassion you will increase your own happiness.当你想到一个容易让人鄙视的人——一个暴君、一个杀人犯、一个折磨者——不要希望他们遭遇不幸。希望他们收养孤儿，把食物与饥饿者分享。祝愿他们行善，而通过这种同情，你将增加自己的幸福感。
- Get good at being corrected without being offended.学会在不生气的情况下被纠正错误。
- The week between Christmas and New Years was invented to give you the perfect time to sharpen your kitchen knives, vacuum your car, and tidy the folders on your desktop.圣诞节和新年之间的一周是为了给你提供完美的时间，用来磨刀、清理车子卫生、整理桌面上的文件夹。
- There is no formula for success, but there are two formulas for failure: not trying and not persisting.成功没有公式，但失败有两种公式：不尝试和不坚持。
- We tend to overrate the value of intelligence. You need to pair your IQ with other virtues. The most important things in life can not be attained through logic only.我们往往高估了智力的价值。你需要将智商与其他美德结合起来。生活中最重要的事情不能仅靠逻辑获得。
- If you are impressed with someone’s work, you should tell them, but even better, tell their boss.如果你对某人的工作印象深刻，你应该告诉他们，但更好的做法是也告诉他的老板。
- In matters of the heart, one moment of patience can save you years of regret.在感情问题上，一时的耐心可以为你省去多年的遗憾。
- Humility is mostly about being very honest about how much you owe to luck.谦逊大多是关于诚实地认识到自己有多少幸运。
- Slow progress is still a million times better than no progress.缓慢的进步仍然比没有进步好百万倍。
- Recipe for greatness: expect much of yourself and little of others.成就伟大的秘诀：严于律己，宽以待人。
- The very best way to win a friend is to be one.赢得朋友最好的方式就是让自己成为一个朋友。